Am I crazy???
When Danica was a newborn, I remember asking Amanda why in heaven's name did people have more than one child when it was so difficult? I was sleep deprived and frazzled and bewildered.
She told me because they "had to". I didn't really really understand it at the time. But here I find myself flipping through the maternity clothes section of the catalog. Wandering through the maternity aisle at the consignment store. Carefully packing away Danica's outgrown clothes instead of giving them away. I could go on.
For as long as I can remember I always only wanted one child. I make it a rule to never say never and I stuck to it. Good thing because here I am, admitting to myself and to you that I want another.
So I find myself faced with questions. How far am I willing to go this time? How long am I willing to try? I cannot ~ CANNOT ~ allow myself to become swallowed up whole by Infertility this time. I simply cannot. I need limits.
I just don't know what those limits are.
2 comments:
you need to set yourself some boundaries and just make sure you can stick to them.
and i am sure with the help of family, close friends and the odd nutty amazon that can make you chuckle, you can do it, stick to it and not be so consumed.
LOL! I remember that conversation so well... Funny how things can change like that. Mother Nature is a cruel mistress. I'll write more about this in a post ;)
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